You want to be stronger, braver, and more integrated.
You want to be more whole right?
I have good news. As you learn and apply Transformation Prayer Ministry to your life, you will become a stronger, braver, more integrated, and whole person.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”Hebrews 12:14 NIV
Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) is, by far, one of the best tools I’ve seen that can nurture growth in this way.
The intent of the TPM process is to provide a systematic and reliable means to intentionally and purposefully participate with God in refining one’s faith, which results in renewing one’s mind, and naturally transforming one’s belief and behavior.
“ . . . be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2 NIV
To understand this more clearly, today I’m sharing with you a personal account of a Transformation Prayer Ministry session. In this, you will see how Molly (fictitious name) was able to move through her negative belief about herself.
To read another personal application of Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) click here.
We begin here.
When Molly was talking with her husband about the slow pace of work in her current job, he suggested she should look for another job.
Feeling irritated and defensive, and realizing they were getting nowhere in their conversation, she decided not to engage in any arguments.
In fact, she decided to essentially dismiss herself from the discussion and just let him talk.
Bothered by her own unclear thoughts and feelings, which arose in their interaction, she asked me to mentor her in Transformation Prayer Ministry regarding these unsettled feelings.
EMOTION (The ‘box’ or place we begin a session)
I asked her: “How did the conversation make you feel?”
Molly: “It made me feel defensive and irritated.”
MEMORIES
I asked her: “What comes to mind as you focus on what you are feeling?”
Molly: “Hmm . . . Why did I feel defensive? What was I defending? . . . THAT I’M NOT SPOILED OR LAZY. “
I asked: Why do you feel that way?
Molly: “ Because I was the baby of the family, the youngest with a large age gap. I remained close in proximity to my parents and they were a great help to me with babysitting, helping with finances and rides when I didn’t have a car. My other siblings moved out of town and were more independent. Later, I was able to be a stay at home mom.
BELIEF
I asked her: “Not that it is true, but does it feel true that you are spoiled or lazy?”
Molly: “No. Actually when I think about it, I do not believe I am spoiled.”
TRUTH
We entered this TPM process spontaneously and were in an informal setting. Others began to enter the room before we were quite done. This interfered with the process. I believe Molly began to speed things up, and her intellect took over for her emotions in the BELIEF box.
Once she heard herself say she’s “spoiled and lazy” and thought about it, she realized that was not true. If her response was yes, (which would have been the typical response if not rushed to conclude things) I would have asked her if we could present that belief to the Lord.
TRANSFORMATION
I asked her: “So, what do you feel is true?”
Molly: “I am not a spoiled child. I work hard. I am very productive. I am resourceful. I contribute a lot to my family. I have made sacrifices and do not ask for much in return. I do not always get my way or what I want.
If you become familiar with Transformation Prayer Ministry you will be a stronger, more positive, united, and whole person.
Wholeness leads to holiness.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”Hebrews 12:14 NIV
To read another personal application of Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) click here.
Hope in Your Pockets
Hope in Your Pockets |
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”Romans 15:13
|
Instead of carrying her money in her purse or pockets, Hanna put her money in her mouth. She was an elderly soul who lived in the same small Pennsylvania town where my mother grew up.
Hanna used to walk around town, my mother told us, with money in her mouth. While shopping, my mom and her sisters would see her spit the money into her hand when making a purchase. (In the 1930’s you could actually buy things with a few coins.)
Why would Hanna keep money in her mouth? Was she afraid someone would steal it? Was she afraid she would accidentally drop it if she kept it somewhere reasonable . . . like inside her wallet? Did she decide it was a convenient way to carry her cash because she had no pocketbook or pockets? Was she unable to afford a change purse? Or did she learn to carry her money in her mouth by her mother’s example?
Can you imagine the horrible unforgettable taste of pennies, nickles, dimes, and quarters in your mouth?
If you ever had the nerve to carry money in your mouth I’m certain you’d never ever forget how it tasted. YUCK. You’d be keenly aware of it’s obnoxious presence.
Some repulsive things we carry, however, are more subtle.
The negative attitudes of a judgmental spirit, unforgiveness, or self-criticism can be mindless habits that go undetected.
They are like lint, or used tissues, in your pockets.
Other objectionable things you may hold in your pockets are things you agree to carry for other people. Things such as their opinions, ideas, and lies. The ones that don’t even resonate with you, but you don’t want to be disagreeable. You cram them all into your pockets anyway.
What’s in your pockets? Are you aware? Why do you keep those things there? Are they good things? Truthful things? Or lies . . . yours or someone else’s?
|
Your infinitely powerful God can fill your pockets to overflowing with joy, hope, and peace. It’s a promise.
“May the God of hope fill you (your pockets) with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 ( mine)
It’s not about working hard enough to earn it, or being good enough to deserve it, but it’s about putting yourself in the right position to receive it.
Instead of having your hands in your pockets fumbling with your negative attitudes or mimicking someone else’s negative attitudes, stretch your hands upward. In this position, and in this quiet moment, let God fill you with His presence. And as you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you.
• Put yourself in position to receive God’s outstanding goodness to you • Fill your pockets with His thoughts about you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands… (Is. 49:16)
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. (1 Pet. 5:10)
I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:15 )
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8) |
Secrets for Soul Rest in the Sensitive
“. . . learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” Matthew 11:29 AMP
Unrest can take root in a young girl’s tender soul. One sensitive soul like Ava’s. Her momma didn’t intend to plant a seed of shame into her daughter’s spirit when she told Ava she doesn’t look very nice when she pouts. Had her good momma known the power of those words, and how they might stick in her sensitive soul, she would’ve never spoken them.
Ava learned to smile on the outside, to please her sweet momma whom she loved, even if she wasn’t smiling on the inside. After all, she wanted her momma to be pleased with her.
Ava’s momma had no idea she was teaching her daughter to be ashamed of her feelings.
She was just trying to settle her down, but in a bigger sense the opposite was happening. It was a quiet and unseen event, even to her own self, but deep within she begins to deny a tiny part of herself. The part of her that now seems wrong and needs to be hidden.
Hide and seek is one of her favorite games. But this is a different kind of hiding. It’s powered by a small lie that tied into her soul that says, “ Your feelings are unworthy, unwelcome, and unimportant. They should be banished if you want to be valued and loved.” Which she very much wanted.
Sometimes the unrest sinks even deeper into a little girl’s soul like Ava’s did when she was ten, and her daddy questions her decision to go forward at an alter call accepting Jesus into her life. She feels shamed by his concerns and buries herself in her room in her books. Door shut. Pain contained. Shame slides down to her belly.
Ava’s life is good for the most part. Any part that can be seen . . . her parents love her. Thank God they don’t abuse or neglect her in any way. She does well in school, and gets along with her siblings and friends. However, she’s a sensitive soul, and often withdraws when she’s confused or upset.
Longing for love and attention, Ava becomes increasingly agreeable and compliant.
She agrees to eat broccoli and chicken at mealtime instead of macaroni ‘n cheese, and to keep flip flops on her feet in summertime instead of going barefoot. Ava is relentlessly cooperative to assure herself of the attention and love she craves.
When her daddy criticizes someone, she quietly remembers not to do what he’s being critical of because she believes if she would do that it would diminish her daddy’s love for her. She thinks even being an annoyance to him could jeopardize his affection for her. And she can’t risk the chance of losing his affection. Ava believes her value as a person depends on whether her parents, and most especially her dad, are pleased with her or not.
Though no family is perfect, thankfully, Ava’s family is a solid one. It wouldn’t require much imagination however, if her family was a troubled one, to understand how she could slide into a heap of trouble by following her quest for attention and love beyond the safety of home.
Shame just slips into a soul . . .
Though she doesn’t get into escalating trouble with mounting shame in her pre-teen years, none the less, Ava feels deep hidden shame and desperately needs rest for her soul. She believes her very essence is WRONG. At age twelve she notices her friends changing, her body morphing, and her heart aching. Sneaky lies tie knots continually in her soul, and she crawls inside whatever handy hideout she finds everywhere she goes.
Ava needs rest for her soul. Rest that comes from drinking long at the Fountain of Living Water. Though she’s no stranger to the Fountain, and drinks from it often, still she has unrest in her soul.
She’s clinging to Jesus’ promise:
“. . . learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” Matthew 11:29 AMP
She’s longing for that soul rest . . . but unable to find it.
Until one day someone meets her at the fountain and listens to her story. Even though her story is apparently dull and unimportant to others, this new friend takes interest in her and her story. She listens deeply, and with sincere interest asks Ava questions. How does she feel about that? What comes to mind as she thinks about those feelings? All the while giving Ava her full attention with no sense of hurry or judgement. Continuing she asks, “not that it’s true, but does it feel true that . . .
Ava responds, and her friend asks . . . may we present this belief to the Lord?
Ava agrees . . .
Instantly, God’s Spirit speaks peace to her soul like never before. A lie is untied. She experiences the miracle of rest in her soul.
Her friend taught her how to drink long at the Fountain of Living Water. How to drink deep enough to allow Jesus’ gentleness to uncover her inner lies, and then to ask the Holy One what He thinks about her lies.
As He gently humbly pours His wisdom on her, she learns from His heart and is set free from another lie and another piece of shame. She’s being transformed by the Holy Spirit little by little as she uncovers her inner lies and presents them to the Lord for His truth. She’s learning that guarding her heart means eradicating her soul lies one by one, and exposing them to the Light. “for out of (your heart) is the well spring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 The new lies don’t have time to burrow and the old ones scatter from the heat of the Son.
Transformation Prayer Ministry is how Ava found rest for her soul. It’s an effective way to process your inner lies and find a healthy and much desired soul rest. You can learn more about it here.
How Heart Working MEN Live
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! Psalm 133:1
Four brothers singing God’s praises together for sixty-two years. Men emanating the gentle strength of lives well lived. Wow. That’s a dandy bunch of Heart Working Men. With their ages ranging from 79 to 86, and engaging in six decades of continuous music ministry, they’ve certainly stood the test of time.
When you rack up that kind of time together surely conflicts would arise. Likely they’ve had spats over the years, but obviously nothing that was significant or lasting.
Their lives radiate joy, goodness, love, and faithfulness. Implicit in their long lasting relationships with one another, not only as brothers, but also as those who travel with them and informally speak to their character . . . patience, peace, kindness, and self-control.
Oh yes, and by the way . . . they sing beautifully too.
Their blended harmony in song is an obvious reflection of their blended harmony in life.
The Webb Sisters,
like the Craft Brothers, have that same harmony in song and life. They haven’t sung together for sixty-two years yet because none of them are that old :), but I am fully confident all four of those wonderful ‘Heart Working Sisters’ will be strong together to the end.
Some of you will remember Gayle and Pam, two of the Webb Sisters, along with Gayle’s husband Jamie and their son Michael, as the ones who blessed us at our last retreat by leading worship.
One of the greatest forms of worship is birthed in the manner of our relating to each other.
There’s nothing that resonates with God’s character more deeply, or declares His hope more clearly, than when His people dwell together in unity.
It’s easy to begin well, but to end well . . . that’s the most important thing.
Not everyone has the gift of singing, nor does everyone have a Christian family. That’s alright. To be faithful in relating harmoniously to one another, as far as it depends on you . . . that’s what’s crucial for your good, your neighbor’s good, and God’s glory.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18
Applying Transformation Prayer MInistry is an excellent way to move in this direction.
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers (and sisters) dwell in unity!” Psalm 133:1
Freeing Your Bold, Beautiful, & Best
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
Decades of hesitation, self-doubt, and fear settle in your pockets. Jagged edges of rejection and shame pierce the lining as they jab through the lint.
Arms bound around waist with rope, hands in pockets, kerchief wrapped tightly across your mouth quelling your voice. Lies tying you in knots. The bandit steals it all.
God alone knows you feel invisible and unimportant. First, ignored by your close friend since pouring your heart out to her. Then, overlooked by another good friend when you put forth great effort to be at her important event, and she barely noticed you were there. And finally, snuggled up to your husband, having waited all day for these sacred few moments to find solace, and share your heart with him, but instead he falls asleep within two sentences.
Lies sequester and sink deep in your soul.
You feel like pocket lint . . . unimportant, invisible, and irrelevant.
You feel voiceless, weak, and inadequate in a hardened and decadent world.
Yet a still quiet voice listens deeply to your voicelessness. Hears your pain, and gently reminds you of your true strength which comes from the great I Am. The One who “has not given (you) a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
The One who reminds you when others are busy talking about lesser things, you take time to listen to a friend whose body fills with cancer. The still small voice helps you recall how you courageously continue to reach out to that woman at church who others avoid. And on that busy Monday morning, how you met the woman at your kitchen door with the grace-space she lost hope in ever finding.
He reminds you that when you are weak then He is strong. 2 Cor 12:9
You are a warrior. Gentle. But. Strong.
No longer feeling like pocket lint . . . unimportant, invisible, and irrelevant . . . you grasp the joy in your pockets, and bravely free it into the noisy world knowing the great I Am sees it all.
“For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that he may strongly support those whose heart is completely his.” 2 Chronicles 16:9
Anger Turned Inward
|
Jimmy Stewart, the well loved movie star, adivsed his twin daughters (Judy and Kelly) before leaving for college, “Remember this, be kind to everyone.”
|
|
The Stewart twins grew up in a loving and happy environment which probably made it relatively easy to extend kindness to everyone.
However, it’s difficult to be kind to others when inwardly disconnected, struggling, or angry.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been blogging about anger and what it looks like when it’s processed in healthy ways. You can read the blogs here and here.
However, sometimes anger disguises itself. Don’t let it fool you.
As it twists inward and latches onto festering lies, it can slide on a bridge to depression.
But it’s not a good bridge.
You want, and need, a bridge that can lead you to a better place.
As Christians, we often get confused about anger.
Do you ever think, “I shouldn’t be angry. That’s not how a Christian acts.” . . . ? So then you wonder . . . what should you do with your anger?
1. It is important to understand the following
Your common daily emotions are God’s continuous invitations motioning you to higher ground.
2. You’ll want to be aware of the following
You don’t want to get stuck in a quagmire of negative emotions and memories that pull you down, but you do want to be enough aware of your emotions to receive the information they have for you.
Your emotions are God-given messages loaded with timely information. Learning to think about your negative emotion, identifying the lie that has caused it, and then offering that to the Lord for His truth, will give you a bridge to a brighter future. This is Transformation Prayer Ministry in a nutshell.
3. The following two resources will be helpful
• Purchase the live video Transformed: the Power of Grace in Relationship Here • Learn about Transformation Prayer Ministry Here
Gratefully Yours, Joy |
Kindness Within
|
Do you talk kindly to yourself? How does that conversation sound? |
|
Do you feel a disconnection within yourself, or from others?
Do people seem to be avoiding you rather than drawn towards you?
If so, chances are you are believing some lies about yourself.
With negative beliefs about yourself lodged in your heart, it’s difficult to reach out to others. And it’s hard for others to extend themselves to you.
You become more and more lonely.
Claire, for example, is not happy with herself, or her life. Therefore, it’s difficult to be at gatherings that celebrate others achievements. To simply be with some of her close friends and family, it’s painful because their lives remind her of what she lacks. Feeling inadequate she withdraws from others and becomes more and more isolated.
To have your mind set negatively on yourself, on what you lack, and on your inabilities, effects your entire well being.
Researchers are finding over and again there is significant value in relationship.
The 75 year long Harvard study reveals ~ “it’s the quality, depth, and honesty of your relationships that count. The ability to relax and be seen for who you really are is what’s critical to your happiness and health.”
Research is giving a big AMEN to God’s design for relationships.
Purchase a copy of the live video recording of the Heart Working Women Retreat and see a poignant example of meaningful relationship at 56:06. Get it here.
Perhaps you judge yourself as less than someone else. You criticize yourself for not living up to the ideals you want in your life.
Or maybe you don’t feel this at all.
You just feel angry.
Without a positive healthy relationship within, it is difficult to have that with others.
What’s within spills out.
You are not created to live in isolation. But, you are created to have joy and peace within, and meaningful relationships with others.
Negative self talk often begins in an area where you’ve experienced pain. Whether someone has wronged you intentionally or unintentionally, it’s irrelevant.
The lie was born. From that point on you said, “I can’t”, “I won’t ever”, “I’m not able”.
That’s when your self judgments and criticisms grew within the core of your being, and loneliness stole your own heart from you.
Now you feel like an empty shell.
Loneliness and longing for more connection makes you aware want want more from life.
These negative emotions are God’s messengers.
Receive your negative emotions as God’s holy invitations to transformation.
Congratulations! • You already took the first step by reading this.
• The second step towards a healthier connection within yourself, and with others, is to gain an awareness of your emotions and why you feel the way you feel.
Sometimes a small thing, like a misplaced piece of paper, can stir up anger that was smoldering within you for quite awhile. Other times a look can infuriate you.
The fact is we all have unspoken messages going on inside our heads. Sometimes these unspoken thoughts flare up when triggered by an action, sound, or smell.
Even as children, we begin to believe certain things that aren’t true.
When little Seth saw his mother looking at him sternly, though she did not utter a word, he shouted, “Stop yelling at me!”
An emotion can morph over time in ways that you no longer recognize it.
For example hurt feelings often turn into anger. The powerful feelings of anger seem to add a protective wall which covers the vulnerable feelings of hurt, pain, fear, and sadness.
Your challenge is to identify your emotion in it’s original state.
• The third step is to identify the lie, behind your feeling, then untie it.
God is for you. He wants you to thrive.
The very power of God that raised Jesus from the dead is within you. Roman 8:11
He wants you to have lasting freedom and joy.
He will give you the wisdom and ability to untie the lies you hold.
We all have an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy each of us. We each wrestle from time to time with believing lies about ourselves.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV
Ask God to make you aware of the lies you believe that are feeding your self-criticism.
He will make you aware of them, and banish them one by one as you present them to Him.
Transformation Prayer Ministry is an excellent way to identify the lies you believe.
|
One of the blessings of learning to do transformation prayer is that you become so much more aware of how God is always waiting, ready to help us work through anything and everything that troubles us. Truly He is our ever-present help in time of trouble.
That’s so true Melanie. Becoming aware of God’s character and how He’s always waiting, willing, and ready to work through what troubles us.