Do you talk kindly to yourself?
How does that conversation sound?
Do you feel a disconnection within yourself, or from others?
Do people seem to be avoiding you rather than drawn towards you?
If so, chances are you are believing some lies about yourself.
With negative beliefs about yourself lodged in your heart, it’s difficult to reach out to others. And it’s hard for others to extend themselves to you.
You become more and more lonely.
Claire, for example, is not happy with herself, or her life. Therefore, it’s difficult to be at gatherings that celebrate others achievements. To simply be with some of her close friends and family, it’s painful because their lives remind her of what she lacks. Feeling inadequate she withdraws from others and becomes more and more isolated.
To have your mind set negatively on yourself, on what you lack, and on your inabilities, effects your entire well being.
Researchers are finding over and again there is significant value in relationship.
The 75 year long Harvard study reveals ~ “it’s the quality, depth, and honesty of your relationships that count. The ability to relax and be seen for who you really are is what’s critical to your happiness and health.”
Research is giving a big AMEN to God’s design for relationships.
Purchase a copy of the live video recording of the Heart Working Women Retreat and see a poignant example of meaningful relationship at 56:06. Get it here.
Perhaps you judge yourself as less than someone else. You criticize yourself for not living up to the ideals you want in your life.
Or maybe you don’t feel this at all.
You just feel angry.
Without a positive healthy relationship within, it is difficult to have that with others.
What’s within spills out.
You are not created to live in isolation.
But, you are created to have joy and peace within, and meaningful relationships with others.
Negative self talk often begins in an area where you’ve experienced pain. Whether someone has wronged you intentionally or unintentionally, it’s irrelevant.
The lie was born. From that point on you said, “I can’t”, “I won’t ever”, “I’m not able”.
That’s when your self judgments and criticisms grew within the core of your being, and loneliness stole your own heart from you.
Now you feel like an empty shell.
Loneliness and longing for more connection makes you aware want want more from life.
These negative emotions are God’s messengers.
Receive your negative emotions as God’s holy invitations to transformation.
• You already took the first step by reading this.
• The second step towards a healthier connection within yourself, and with others, is to gain an awareness of your emotions and why you feel the way you feel.
Sometimes a small thing, like a misplaced piece of paper, can stir up anger that was smoldering within you for quite awhile. Other times a look can infuriate you.
The fact is we all have unspoken messages going on inside our heads. Sometimes these unspoken thoughts flare up when triggered by an action, sound, or smell.
Even as children, we begin to believe certain things that aren’t true.
When little Seth saw his mother looking at him sternly, though she did not utter a word, he shouted, “Stop yelling at me!”
An emotion can morph over time in ways that you no longer recognize it.
For example hurt feelings often turn into anger. The powerful feelings of anger seem to add a protective wall which covers the vulnerable feelings of hurt, pain, fear, and sadness.
Your challenge is to identify your emotion in it’s original state.
• The third step is to identify the lie, behind your feeling, then untie it.
God is for you. He wants you to thrive.
The very power of God that raised Jesus from the dead is within you. Roman 8:11
He wants you to have lasting freedom and joy.
He will give you the wisdom and ability to untie the lies you hold.
We all have an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy each of us. We each wrestle from time to time with believing lies about ourselves.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV
Ask God to make you aware of the lies you believe that are feeding your self-criticism.
He will make you aware of them, and banish them one by one as you present them to Him.
Transformation Prayer Ministry is an excellent way to identify the lies you believe.