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You want to be stronger, braver, and more integrated.

You want to be more whole right?

I have good news. As you learn and apply Transformation Prayer Ministry to your life, you will become a stronger, braver, more integrated, and whole person.

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”Hebrews 12:14 NIV

Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) is, by far, one of the best tools I’ve seen that can nurture growth in this way.

The intent of the TPM process is to provide a systematic and reliable means to intentionally and purposefully participate with God in refining one’s faith, which results in renewing one’s mind, and naturally transforming one’s belief and behavior.


“ . . . be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2 NIV


To understand this more clearly, today I’m sharing with you a personal account of a Transformation Prayer Ministry session. In this, you will see how Molly (fictitious name) was able to move through her negative belief about herself.

To read another personal application of Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) click here.

We begin here.

When Molly was talking with her husband about the slow pace of work in her current job, he suggested she should look for another job.

Feeling irritated and defensive, and realizing they were getting nowhere in their conversation, she decided not to engage in any arguments.


In fact, she decided to essentially dismiss herself from the discussion and just let him talk.

Bothered by her own unclear thoughts and feelings, which arose in their interaction, she asked me to mentor her in Transformation Prayer Ministry regarding these unsettled feelings.


EMOTION  (The ‘box’ or place we begin a session)


I asked her: “How did the conversation make you feel?”


Molly: “It made me feel defensive and irritated.”



I asked her: “What comes to mind as you focus on what you are feeling?”


Molly: “Hmm . . . Why did I feel defensive? What was I defending? . . . THAT I’M NOT SPOILED OR LAZY. “


I asked: Why do you feel that way?


Molly: “ Because I was the baby of the family, the youngest with a large age gap. I remained close in proximity to my parents and they were a great help to me with babysitting, helping with finances and rides when I didn’t have a car. My other siblings moved out of town and were more independent. Later, I was able to be a stay at home mom.



I asked her: “Not that it is true, but does it feel true that you are spoiled or lazy?”


Molly: “No. Actually when I think about it, I do not believe I am spoiled.”



We entered this TPM process spontaneously and were in an informal setting. Others began to enter the room before we were quite done. This interfered with the process. I believe Molly began to speed things up, and her intellect took over for her emotions in the BELIEF box.

Once she heard herself say she’s “spoiled and lazy” and thought about it, she realized that was not true. If her response was yes, (which would have been the typical response if not rushed to conclude things) I would have asked her if we could present that belief to the Lord.



I asked her: “So, what do you feel is true?”


Molly: “I am not a spoiled child. I work hard. I am very productive. I am resourceful. I contribute a lot to my family. I have made sacrifices and do not ask for much in return. I do not always get my way or what I want.


If you become familiar with Transformation Prayer Ministry you will be a stronger, more positive, united, and whole person.

Wholeness leads to holiness.

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”Hebrews 12:14 NIV

To read another personal application of Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) click here.

How Heart Working MEN Live

How Heart Working MEN Live

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! Psalm 133:1


Four brothers singing God’s praises together for sixty-two years. Men emanating the gentle strength of lives well lived. Wow. That’s a dandy bunch of Heart Working Men. With their ages ranging from 79 to 86, and engaging in six decades of continuous music ministry, they’ve certainly stood the test of time.


When you rack up that kind of time together surely conflicts would arise. Likely they’ve had spats over the years, but obviously nothing that was significant or lasting.


Their lives radiate joy, goodness, love, and faithfulness. Implicit in their long lasting relationships with one another, not only as brothers, but also as those who travel with them and informally speak to their character . . . patience, peace, kindness, and self-control.


Oh yes, and by the way . . . they sing beautifully too.


Their blended harmony in song is an obvious reflection of their blended harmony in life.


The Webb Sisters,

like the Craft Brothers, have that same harmony in song and life. They haven’t sung together for sixty-two years yet because none of them are that old :), but I am fully confident all four of those wonderful ‘Heart Working Sisters’ will be strong together to the end.


Some of you will remember Gayle and Pam, two of the Webb Sisters, along with Gayle’s  husband Jamie and their son Michael, as the ones who blessed us at our last retreat by leading worship.


One of the greatest forms of worship is birthed in the manner of our relating to each other.


There’s nothing that resonates with God’s character more deeply, or declares His hope more clearly, than when His people dwell together in unity.


It’s easy to begin well, but to end well . . . that’s the most important thing.


Not everyone has the gift of singing, nor does everyone have a Christian family. That’s alright. To be faithful in relating harmoniously to one another, as far as it depends on you . . . that’s what’s crucial for your good, your neighbor’s good, and God’s glory.


“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18


Applying Transformation Prayer MInistry is an excellent way to move in this direction.



“How good and pleasant it is when brothers (and sisters) dwell in unity!” Psalm 133:1

Freeing Your Bold, Beautiful, & Best

Freeing Your Bold, Beautiful, & Best

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV


Decades of hesitation, self-doubt, and fear settle in your pockets. Jagged edges of rejection and shame pierce the lining as they jab through the lint.


Arms bound around waist with rope, hands in pockets, kerchief wrapped tightly across your mouth quelling your voice. Lies tying you in knots. The bandit steals it all.


God alone knows you feel invisible and unimportant. First, ignored by your close friend since pouring your heart out to her. Then, overlooked by another good friend when you put forth great effort to be at her important event, and she barely noticed you were there. And finally, snuggled up to your husband, having waited all day for these sacred few moments to find solace, and share your heart with him, but instead he falls asleep within two sentences.


Lies sequester and sink deep in your soul.


You feel like pocket lint . . . unimportant, invisible, and irrelevant.


You feel voiceless, weak, and inadequate in a hardened and decadent world.


Yet a still quiet voice listens deeply to your voicelessness. Hears your pain, and gently reminds you of your true strength which comes from the great I Am. The One who “has not given (you) a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”


The One who reminds you when others are busy talking about lesser things, you take time to listen to a friend whose body fills with cancer. The still small voice helps you recall how you courageously continue to reach out to that woman at church who others avoid. And on that busy Monday morning, how you met the woman at your kitchen door with the grace-space she lost hope in ever finding.


He reminds you that when you are weak then He is strong. 2 Cor 12:9


You are a warrior. Gentle. But. Strong.


No longer feeling like pocket lint . . . unimportant, invisible, and irrelevant . . . you grasp the joy in your pockets, and bravely free it into the noisy world knowing the great I Am sees it all.


“For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that he may strongly support those whose heart is completely his.” 2 Chronicles 16:9


Anger Turned Inward

Anger Turned Inward

Jimmy Stewart, the well loved movie star, adivsed his twin daughters (Judy and Kelly) before leaving for college,

“Remember this, be kind to everyone.”


The Stewart twins grew up in a loving and happy environment which probably made it relatively easy to extend kindness to everyone.


However, it’s difficult to be kind to others when inwardly disconnected, struggling, or angry.


Over the last few weeks, I’ve been blogging about anger and what it looks like when it’s processed in healthy ways. You can read the blogs here and here.


However, sometimes anger disguises itself. Don’t let it fool you.


As it twists inward and latches onto festering lies, it can slide on a bridge to depression.


But it’s not a good bridge.


You want, and need, a bridge that can lead you to a better place.


As Christians, we often get confused about anger.


Do you ever think, “I shouldn’t be angry. That’s not how a Christian acts.” . . . ?

So then you wonder . . . what should you do with your anger?


 1. It is important to understand the following


Your common daily emotions are

God’s continuous invitations

motioning you to higher ground.


  2. You’ll want to be aware of the following


You don’t want to get stuck in a quagmire of

negative emotions and memories that pull you

down, but you do want to be enough aware of

your emotions to receive the information they have

for you.


Your emotions are God-given messages loaded with timely information. Learning to think about your negative emotion, identifying the lie that has caused it, and then offering that to the Lord for His truth, will give you a bridge to a brighter future. 

This is Transformation Prayer Ministry in a nutshell.


3. The following two resources will be helpful


• Purchase the live video Transformed: the Power of Grace in Relationship Here 

• Learn about Transformation Prayer Ministry Here 


Gratefully Yours,


Kindness Within

Kindness Within

Do you talk kindly to yourself?

How does that conversation sound?

Do you feel a disconnection within yourself, or from others?


Do people seem to be avoiding you rather than drawn towards you?


If so, chances are you are believing some lies about yourself.


With negative beliefs about yourself lodged in your heart, it’s difficult to reach out to others. And it’s hard for others to extend themselves to you.


You become more and more lonely.


Claire, for example, is not happy with herself, or her life. Therefore, it’s difficult to be at gatherings that celebrate others achievements. To simply be with some of her close friends and family, it’s painful because their lives remind her of what she lacks. Feeling inadequate she withdraws from others and becomes more and more isolated.


To have your mind set negatively on yourself, on what you lack, and on your inabilities, effects your entire well being.


Researchers are finding over and again there is significant value in relationship.


The 75 year long Harvard study reveals ~ “it’s the quality, depth, and honesty of your relationships that count. The ability to relax and be seen for who you really are is what’s critical to your happiness and health.”


Research is giving a big AMEN to God’s design for relationships.


Purchase a copy of the live video recording of the Heart Working Women Retreat and see a poignant example of meaningful relationship at 56:06. Get it here.


Perhaps you judge yourself as less than someone else. You criticize yourself for not living up to the ideals you want in your life.


Or maybe you don’t feel this at all.


You just feel angry.


Without a positive healthy relationship within, it is difficult to have that with others.


What’s within spills out.


You are not created to live in isolation.

But, you are created to have joy and peace within, and meaningful relationships with others.


Negative self talk often begins in an area where you’ve experienced pain. Whether someone has wronged you intentionally or unintentionally, it’s irrelevant.


The lie was born. From that point on you said, “I can’t”, “I won’t ever”, “I’m not able”.


That’s when your self judgments and criticisms grew within the core of your being, and loneliness stole your own heart from you.


Now you feel like an empty shell.


Loneliness and longing for more connection makes you aware want want more from life.


These negative emotions are God’s messengers.


Receive your negative emotions as God’s holy invitations to transformation.



• You already took the first step by reading this.


• The second step towards a healthier connection within yourself, and with others, is to gain      an awareness of your emotions and why you feel the way you feel.


Sometimes a small thing, like a misplaced piece of paper, can stir up anger that was smoldering within you for quite awhile. Other times a look can infuriate you.


The fact is we all have unspoken messages going on inside our heads. Sometimes these unspoken thoughts flare up when triggered by an action, sound, or smell.


Even as children, we begin to believe certain things that aren’t true.


When little Seth saw his mother looking at him sternly, though she did not utter a word, he shouted, “Stop yelling at me!”


An emotion can morph over time in ways that you no longer recognize it.


For example hurt feelings often turn into anger. The powerful feelings of anger seem to add a protective wall which covers the vulnerable feelings of hurt, pain, fear, and sadness.


Your challenge is to identify your emotion in it’s original state.


• The third step is to identify the lie, behind your feeling, then untie it.


God is for you. He wants you to thrive.


The very power of God that raised Jesus from the dead is within you. Roman 8:11


He wants you to have lasting freedom and joy.


He will give you the wisdom and ability to untie the lies you hold.


We all have an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy each of us. We each wrestle from time to time with believing lies about ourselves.


“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV


Ask God to make you aware of the lies you believe that are feeding your self-criticism.


He will make you aware of them, and banish them one by one as you present them to Him.


Transformation Prayer Ministry is an excellent way to identify the lies you believe.


Learn more herehere, and here.

Want Pure Joy?

Want Pure Joy?

Want Pure Joy?
Pure joy ahh . . . the warmth of sunshine, a stroll along a Jersey beach, sharing laughter with family and friends . . .
What’s your pure joy? Taking a bubble bath, hiking a mountain, reading a good book?
They all sound good.
But, when I think of pure joy, and read in James 1:2 that I should “consider it pure joy when I face trials of many kinds”, instantly my emotion detaches from these thoughts.
James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

I believe it intellectually, but rejoicing in my trials, certainly doesn’t come instantly.

Those who sustained injuries, or are suffering the loss of loved ones. in the Las Vegas shooting have much grief to process.
Those diagnosed with terminal cancer, or those who lost a son or daughter to drugs, suicide, or an accident have massive amounts of pain to process too. This is not to be taken lightly or ignored.
But, in the final run, after the pain has been leaned into, and the anger, fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, and sadness have been felt and faced into, only then can one begin to come to a new light of understanding.
The understanding that God is drawing you to Him in your sufferings.” Greater is he that is in you than he who is in the world.”
(1 John 4:4)
Even through this evil, as you lean into God, He will bring wholeness to your soul. 
Think of your suffering as the Refiner’s fire making you more like the Refiner. A fire that brings you into a deeper relationship with Jesus as you recognize your trials are putting you in a position where you can share in the fellowship of Jesus’ sufferings.
Your head and heart are disconnected. That’s how we become “double-minded and unstable in all our ways.” James 1:8
Knowing this intellectually is onething. Yet, when faced with a trial – ~ discouragement, fear, or dread naturally rise to the top.
The term double-minded comes from the Greek word dipsuchos which means a person with two minds or souls.
dis ~ twice, of two minds, wavering, uncertain, divided
It comes from two Greek words.
psuche ~ the vital breath, breath of life
So if I’m double-minded it’s like having two independent wills. I am divided in interest. Double-souled. I’m not united, but in conflict with myself.
If you’re in conflict with someone, if you’re in significant debt, or if you discover you have an incurable illness, pure joy doesn’t automatically pop into your mind, right?
Though you agree with what James says about trials, you probably don’t instantly consider it pure joy when facing “trials of many kinds”.
Yet, to be growing into a more mature and complete woman, suffering is part of the plan for all of us. It’s through suffering we inwardly transform to reflect Jesus more clearly.
Likewise, a silver refiner breaks up the natural ore, then places it in the fire to remove the dross. After much firing, he knows the silver has reached its purest form when he can clearly see his reflection in it.
Proverbs 17:3 “The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart.”
How you perceive your trials and suffering is key to your joy.
Understanding that God is for you and not against you, and that your inner wholeness is God’s design for your joy.
Where are you double-minded?
Maybe it’s as simple as thinking you want a cleaner home, but you’re unwilling to put the effort into cleaning it.
You believe intellectually that “God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory.” Phil 4:19, but you feel anxious about having the money to pay your bills.
Or you believe Psalm 139:14 “you are fearfully and wonderfully made”, yet you feel insecure.
As you grow in inner peace and move away from your conflict and double-mindedness (dipsuchos) you will begin to experience the pure joy that James refers to.
This kind of growth is the abundant life of which Jesus spoke.
Often we build emotional walls that we think will benefit us and bring the peace we long for, but in the long run they hinder us from “pure joy”.
God longs to bring you the pure joy that comes from being at one with yourself.
Transformation Prayer Ministry is a tool that helps you identify these walls (lies) and present them to the Lord for His truth to be known in this area at a heart level. It helps make those inner connections of your intellect and emotion. It removes double-mindedness in that area and brings you joy.
Paul writes in Romans 5:3-5 “. . . we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, . . .”
Changes & Transformation

Changes & Transformation

You’ve experienced change in your life right?
Sometimes you want it. Other times it comes rudely barging in your front door.
Change comes whether you’re actively searching for it for not . . .
It can be scary. It’s vulnerable. The outcome is uncertain.
When my oldest son, Max, was three years old he needed to make a change. He had a bad habit of tipping his chair back on two legs during mealtimes. He’d then balance on the seat in such a way that one little movement backward or forward would cause him to be either sitting in the chair with all four legs on the floor, or tumbling off the chair backwards.
Despite many warnings from his mom and dad to keep all four legs on the floor, he continued to tilt the chair back on two legs while delicately tittering on the seat edge. One day, his chair totally slipped out from under him, and he whacked his head hard as he fell to the floor.
That bump on his head helped him became a determined and self-motivated young boy. I watched him over the next several weeks as he changed his chair tipping habit.
Certain I could learn from his success, I closely observed several stages in his transformation.
  1. He gained the personal awareness that something needed to change.
  2. He saw how he could benefit by “turning over a new leaf”.
  3. Still on auto-pilot; he habitually tipped his chair, but stopped himself when he realized what he was doing.
  4. He stopped himself increasingly sooner in the tipping process.
  5. He got to the point where he was just about to lunge back when he stopped and recalculated ten kept all four chair legs planted firmly on the kitchen floor. * It was the coolest thing to see his countenance light up when he conquered this step. *
  6. The thought to spring back on his chair became decreasingly prominent, and finally disappeared.

… I watched my three year old son change his chair tipping habit.

If my three year old son could transform his ways then you and I certainly can too. Even though it’s uncomfortable and may feel vulnerable.
After all, if we are not moving forward and growing then we are slowly ebbing away and dying on the inside.
Remember, we cannot change anyone else but ourselves. And thatchange comes by God’s grace, not by our own efforts alone.

Stages in transformation

  • First you gain the personal awareness that something needs to change.
You get to the point where you see your life isn’t working for you.
You experience sadness, loneliness, and fear. Remember that your negative emotions are God’s holy messengers.
He planted deep within you the ability to feel sadness and joy, pain and relief as an inward channel through which He can whisper His wisdom to you.
If you allow your negative emotions to simply inform you they will bless and serve you by letting you know something needs to change. If you hang on to your negative feelings they will become toxic.
  • Second know how you’ll benefit by “turning over a new leaf”.
  • Third catch yourself in the midst of doing that which you want to stop doing.
  • Fourth recognize you are making progress when you stop yourself increasingly sooner.
  • Fifth you’ll catch yourself just in time to stop that annoying habit you’re trying to break.
  • Sixth you’ll need to put less and less effort into stopping yourself.
You will move through these stages when addressing simple habits that you want to change. * You will need more than this if you are struggling with an addiction.
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