Do you struggle at times with not having the confidence, or authority, to be yourself in your significant relationships with family or friends?

Do you feel at times like no one really knows you? The real you is lonely, and yet afraid to come alive . . .

Sometimes I am lonely, like you. I’d rather not feel that way, and neither would you ~ right?

Often those feelings bubble up because the relational dynamics with family members, or friendships, are stressful. You’re connection with one another is out of whack.

You can feel it in your gut, but can’t understand why the disconnect exists.

Personally, during those times I’ve found a way to connect uniquely with the great I Am, the Creator of my soul, that reaches into my loneliness and deeply satisfies me.

This soul to soul with Jesus gives me confidence and authority to be myself.

When the Creator of life fills me emotionally, I notice I no longer feel lonely. Instead I live from a full well.

I have less need of approval. And I have greater freedom and capacity to be the joyful me I was created to be.

All relationships need nurturing.

If any friendship, or relationship of any sort, is going to thrive it needs to be watered and cared for like a garden, or like a tree that sinks its roots down deep allowing it to drink life from the nutrient rich soil.

A few years back I created a program (called Moms in STYLE) to help mothers whose central desire was to re-connect joyfully with her grown children.

These moms involved in emotionally distressed relationships with their adult children wanted to learn to nurture those relationships.

The Moms in STYLE Program applies the following truths at its core and informs ways to nurture relationships.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.‘ Mark 12:30-31 NIV

(Your husband is your closest neighbor,)

. . . whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.   1 John 4:20-21 NIV

Do to others as you would have them do to you.  Luke 6:31 NIV

The LORD your God is with you, the Might Warrior who saves. He will . . . rejoice over you with singing.  Zeph 3:17 NIV

 

Our relationship with our Creator needs nurturing too.

My relationship with my Creator and Lover of my soul is no different. It needs nurturing too.

With this in mind, I’ve flipped the STYLE Program upside down, and rearranged it to help you become more aware and receptive of God’s great love for you.

Instead of guiding you to use STYLE to initiate blessings to others, I turned it upside down to help you prioritize ways you can receive God’s initiative of love for you. To experience His love for you at the heart level not simply the head level.

In fact, when we allow the Designer of our souls to fill us emotionally, that’s when we can be our most confident and best. It’s also when your relationships and friendships will be at their peak.

A heart-filled by Jesus will be a heart that’s working. When your heart is working you will find it to be the most natural and effortless thing to bless others, even in your stressful relationships it will be true. You will have the confidence and ability to love yourself.

The secret to having the confidence and authority to be yourself is found in the receiving of your Maker’s specific love for you at the heart level.

It is key for us to put ourselves in a place where we receive His love because if we are looking to those around us to fill our love need, even with a significant other, we will be disappointed.

As we grow in intimacy with the One who formed our very souls we will feel less shame and be freer to reveal our true selves.

As we are free to reveal our true selves we will have the joy of being known, not have the depth of loneliness we once did, and have richer relationships.

From the safe haven of being loved by the great I Am you will be able to risk greater openness with others because your essence is not tethered to others opinions, but is wrapped in the all-knowing all- loving arms of Jesus.

As His love spills over you it calms and quiets you. It will overflow into your being, and give you greater sensitivity and compassion for those around you. This in itself will strengthen your friendships and relationships.

When your own emotional needs are met in healthy ways you will be more confident. Confidence gives you power to be the real you. Not the performing person you think others will like.

It is key for us to put ourselves in a place where we receive His love because if we are looking to those around us to fill our love need, even with a significant other, we will be disappointed. As we grow in intimacy with the One who formed our very souls we will feel less shame and be freer to reveal our true selves.

From the safe haven of being loved by the great I Am you will be able to risk greater openness with others because your essence is not tethered to others opinions, but is wrapped in the all-knowing all- loving arms of Jesus.

As His love spills over you it calms and quiets you. It will overflow into your being, and give you greater sensitivity and compassion for those around you. This in itself will strengthen your friendships and relationships.

Once these emotional truths begin sifting down deep within your soul, there’s a synergy that start’s to take place.

I inverted STYLE to give you a super charge at the get go. It will give you practical tools to use in developing a stronger, and emotionally healthier, you. You will benefit, over time, by naturally growing stronger healthier friendships and relationships as a result.

Become aware of something small God is doing for you.

The STYLE in LifeSTYLE is an acronym. The S in the STYLE Program is to do something small.  Instead of doing something small for someone else, allow God to do something small for you.

I know this may sound strange. But He really does want to do things to delight you. Becoming aware of how He is doing it is the first step in receiving it. Take some time to think about some small way He wants to connect with you.

Take some time for a walk, a leisurely drive, or if you only have two minutes use those two minutes to be still and ponder the truth that God is for you and not against you.

Think about how God may be reaching out to you. Absorb it.

Don’t worry if you don’t sense anything right away. This little exercise in itself will make you more receptive to how God is reaching out to you in many small ways. Over the next day or so it likely will become more evident to you.

You will begin to recognize how He is extending Himself to you in some little ways which you have not noticed before.

I find the towhee’s song to be something small God does for me. He’s doing it for you too.

The next is the T in STYLE. That stands for together fun.

God reaches out to you with a spirit of joy and laughter

Together fun is the T in the STYLE acronym .

On a new day think about how God is reaching out to you with a spirit of joy and laughter.  How He want to have fun together with you.

It might seem funny at first, but be assured you delight His heart simply because you are choosing to be with Him.

Don’t you feel good when someone specifically chooses to be with you to have fun?