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God has created you for relationship

But, not at the cost of your own soul.


Stuffing your vulnerable and weak feelings you begin suppressing your emotions. Staying strong to keep your tears from ever spilling you begin neglecting your needs, minimizing your wishes, and denying your feelings.

It may seem like the right thing to do ~ especially as a Jesus follower.

He said, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23 ESV

The idea of taking up your cross daily and following Him fits with dying to yourself, to your selfish ways and ambitions, and living for God.

Dying to self is necessary for including others in your life in meaningful ways.

Problem is . . . dying to self can turn into a soul death.

God has created you for relationship

But, not at the cost of your own soul.

What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Mark 8:36 NIV

I begin to lose my soul and starve my emotions when I tune myself out. When I deny my thoughts, and minimize my feelings, pieces of me begin to slip away.

But I can bring those slipped pieces back to the whole-me when I place value on my concerns, thoughts, and feelings. 

Self-understanding builds me up inside.

As a result,  I become a better person. I listen closely to my own inner conversations and  learn to deeply hear myself.

Think of it as a muscle. The more you and I tune in to the conversations we have with our self the better we will get at hearing them. Journaling, or jotting down thoughts and feelings creates inner awareness which in turn strengthens your inner being. 

When I began to think about my feelings, for example, instead of just be confused and led by them, I can stand back from myself and see what’s actually happening.

You gain strength, smarts, and wholeness, when you are aware of what’s happening in your inner life.

Sometimes it’s as simple as giving the feeling a name.

You may have hidden from your feelings for so long you don’t know your what’s real and what’s a facade. 

As we listen to our conversations within we become wiser. We step back and see what’s spilling out and gain greater self understanding. With a bit less emotion, we view our life and it’s circumstances more realistically.

We can be begin telling ourselves what to do and not do because we are thinking about our emotions instead of being led by them.

Human desire stirs my emotions. When I act on these desires, without thought, I am weak.

Human desire is infinite by it’s nature; it cannot be satisfied. You must take your stand against it because you cannot satisfy it. You can never get enough money, if you want money. You can never get enough power, if you want power. You can never get enough love, you can never get enough glory. It is impossible. So fundamental is this truth that every person who wishes to follow Christ must understand it.  Dallas Willard Life Without Lack

Tuning in to these inner conversations gives me an edge. It helps me get a handle on my want-to-self . . . I want to do this, and I want to do that. It is a life led by self.

I’ve discovered this, me – myself – and – I, way of living is not satisfying.

It begins to make sense when I understand my human desires are infinite and cannot be satisfied apart from God.

Dallas Willard continues to explain this further.

Desire is infinite partly because we were made by God, made for God, made to need God, and made to run on God. We can be satisfied only by the one who is infinite, eternal, and able to supply all our needs; we are only at home in God. When we fall away from God, the desire for the infinite remains, but it is displaced upon things that will certainly lead to destruction.

Being quiet enough to hear your inner conversations prepares the soil for you to hear God.

We become better people when we listen closely to our own inner conversation

We can ignore, neglect, shame, or deny, our emotional hunger for a while, but eventually it will reach back to bit us. The more we ignore our emotional hunger the hungrier we get.

Jesus is the only One who can fill us. If we ignore His intimate presence our spirits can become bitter or even toxic.

With God’s grace, as we become intimately acquainted with our inner world of thoughts and feelings, we will also be better able to surrender our will to Him.

It’s here we will find deep peace and joy because our wills are made to surrender to God.




Do you have trouble hearing your own voice?

Have you been honest enough with yourself to say, ‘it’s difficult trying to be a better person”?

Do you know what your inner conversations are today?

Do you have trouble hearing God’s voice in your life?


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