Ever want someone to just listen to you and not give advise?
Being heard makes you feel strong. Like you can finally hear your own thoughts, and make better sense of what you want your attitude to be, or understand what you must do next.
Once in a while you want to tell someone what’s tugging at you deep within and be fully heard, right? Not given advise.
Time and space for being heard is a priceless gift from others. True listening is key to being a safe person.
You need a safe place to tell your story.
You like being around safe people.
Did anyone ever hold space for you? . . . tune in to you fully, and make you the center of all their attention at that very moment. Listening with the intent to understand the full scope of what you are saying, and where your pulse races.
Not listening with the intent to hijack the conversation to tell you how their day was, or what they think, but to carefully totally listen to you.
It’s a taste of heaven.
In those growing, grieving, transitioning times it’s a step out of isolation into a plural world. A better world where listening to someone other-than-self is good.
Just as the ocean waves pulse back and forth there’s an ebb and flow . . . a listening dance. A give and take, a speaking and a receiving of someone’s being.
A place where we can care for one another the right way. Where the lovely and unlovely in a soul can be seen through the eyes of the great I Am.
It’s a place of hope and true beauty.
We need safe people
I have this safe scared space, a place where I am stretching and growing towards the Light. This place is held by trusted friends where we see each others speckles and mars, yet also see the truly beautiful pieces.
Little by little, we grow less speckled and marred by unawareness and powerlessness, which allows us to be more integrated individuals, and to be a stronger brighter collection of individuals..
We are created to be connected with one another, and deeply connected to some safe people. Not adrift and alone.
Make small gatherings of Jesus followers the safest places.
Relational destruction bleeds far and wide in the body of Christ. If we as women, the nurturers, fail to be loving, light-seekers, and honest . . . then where is our hope?
We all know our families and culture are fragmenting.
We are His light.
His hands. His feet. His heart. His mind.
The way opens for us to be the Body of Christ more vividly as we participate whole heartedly in nurturing life-giving-relationships with oneself, others, and God.
As we drink deep of the Living Water, and gather in safe sacred spaces, we will grow to be more like our Master, integrated, powerful, and bright. To be thirsting and lacking sacred space is to be dis-integrated, powerless, and dark.
Light is not meant to be hid under a bushel, but to be put on a stand to shine brightly for all to see. Matt 5:15
Unsafe people eventually find themselves in the dark and alone.
People build walls by repeatedly ignoring others needs, denying their own pain, or the pain they inflict on others.
This kind of protection may feel safe, but it’s not. It is a false safety that actually furthers dis-integration and harm.
God desires to heal our souls, and then we are better able to love the people He brings into our lives.
Dallas Willard Life Without Lack
To find safe people be a safe person.
Jesus is a safe person
He is not concerned about being less of a person because of being with you. Nor is He concerned about being tainted by your presence, or by listening to you or your story.
He is perfect in love and wholly integrated. He loves Himself (ever think about that?), He loves you and me, and He loves His Father, perfectly.
While on this side of life we will never be perfect, however we are called to be more like Jesus. As we continue to learn, by God’s grace, to love ourselves, and Jesus, it will synergize our ability to love others.
Do you have some safe people in your life that inspire your growth?
How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 – 10 as a safe person?