Genuine love is patient and kind. It cares enough to confront.

The joy-life . . .

 

I mean deep inner joy, even if there isn’t happiness right now.

Even when there’s conflict in an important relationship.

 

That kind of joy . . .

The joy that exists regardless of circumstances.

 

Do you have that?

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.

I want it more consistently.

How about you?

 

I want that for all of us . . .

Joy comes in knowing, deep within,

God is for me and not against me.

 

When I know this at the deepest level I’m joyful regardless of my surroundings. I am at my best. My finest naturally bubbles to the top. And so does yours.

“To be spiritually minded is life and peace.”  Rom 8:6

• Additionally, when I know the Creator of my soul is for me, my relationships will be at their best, as far as it depends on me.

A deep seated peace envelopes me because, even when I fail, I know He’s there to bring me back. That’s part of understanding He is for me. He wants me to succeed, to be at peace, and joy-filled.

“I have the responsibility of keeping my spirit in agreement with His Spirit.”

Oswald Chambers

It’s the secure base for my relationship with myself,

with others,

and God.

When I do things that are not pleasing to Him, I understand He is not for that behavior, but He is always for me. The same is true for you.

As we align our spirits with the Great I Am, the supreme things in life will become ours.

• It’s synergistic.

When I am convinced I am loved, and loveable, I am at my best. How about you?

I don’t criticize myself when I’m in that mindset. Instead I want to share my life. Relate meaningfully. And praise God. My inner life is rich and full.

When I am consistent, and integrated, my insides match my outsides. And when you and both are consistent, and integrated, we have the possibility to connect with synergy. That makes us a great team.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18

 

• If I don’t believe the Creator is for me . . . I lose much.

If I don’t feel loved, or lovable, and think the Almighty is against me, I may dull my pain by becoming numb to myself. Perhaps even to the degree I don’t recognize myself.

My relationships with others will begin to deteriorate, and my relationship with God becomes small and vague.

I can have the appearance of having good relationships, and have the facade of being a good Christian. I can probably even fool myself along with everybody else.

That’s fake and hollow.

With this attitude, relationships are not synergistic. Instead they are antagonistic and injurious.

Unless my soul is washed in the depths of knowing God’s heart is completely for me, actively pursuing me, and my good, I will always be looking for someone, or something, to “be for me” as only God truly can be for me.

• If I have a relationship, or friendship, with someone who doesn’t believe they are lovable, or believes God is against them, it’s a set up for failure.

That person will probably feel shame, and hide their true self. At least in part. Of course, it’s difficult to have a friendship with someone who hides. You can’t get to know the real person. Your relationship and friendship is hollow.

To love this person can be challenging.

Especially if one is dishonest, and hiding something, from the other. The inter-twining of hearts is sometimes ragged and rough, and inflicts pain as life pushes deceptively forward.  But remember,

• Love is patient, and kind, not rude. It also cares enough to confront.

In fact, confronting the inconsistency you see in your loved ones could be the most loving thing you can do.

• One of the best ways to confront someone with love is to express how you feel.

For example, “I feel like I am not important to you.” Or “I feel like I am not heard.” Or “I feel sad first, and then angry, when you talk to me like that.”

Using “I statements” keeps your communication open. If you point fingers, it only escalates an argument. But, no one can argue with how you feel.

• What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

1. Have you ever tried expressing your feelings when you want to confront someone?
2. How did that work for you?
3. Was it difficult?
4. Can you think of a situation where it might not be helpful?